Monday, August 17, 2009
I look at my hands and I can hear them begging to me..." stop it please... do not abuse us so much"... I open my vaseline jelly and apply it on my palms to make them feel better .
Earlier my hands used to smell of masalas, spices or incense, but for the past one week they are smelling only of dettol.
This is not the story of just my palms ....
My home smells of dettol and lizol ; I have already exhausted this month's usual quota of all disinfectant floor cleaners, toilet cleaners and even hand washes.I have stacked up my cupboard with enough of medical soaps. Our medicine cabinets have been updated with surgical spirits and many homeo medicines.My kids smell of dettol or eucalyptus oil.I even gave off a bottle of Lizol to the maid who comes to sweep the corridors of our apartment complex . I have agreed to sponsor dettol hand wash to my kids school.
Do not mistake this for a marketing portal for disinfectants .... what then?
Yes , you guessed it right ! Something is terribly wrong with me! When I am trying to make hand washing our home culture I just feel like Lady Macbeth trying to wash away the imaginary blood from her hands always in a state of hallucination. When I am always in the look out for a sneeze or running nose from my two little boys I feel insane.I used to take things so lightly . Never have I rushed my kids to doctors for a small rise in temperature , a cough or cold. But today my heart beats faster each time I think of my kids away from me in school...... ... are they washing their hands... with soap? Are they digging their noses , or biting their nails ?
I am after all a mother ....!!!
The scare of the pandemic H1N1 virus spreading like wild fire globally, the heat of its virulent flames burning life's of people close to our residence....just sprouted fear is many of us ...A month or so ago , I remember reading about this viral infection called swine flu affecting life's of people in Pune... but then I read it like any other news and never thought twice about it ....Today I feel ashamed !!!
Why am I feeling connected when it comes only to people close to me? Last few days were also days of reflection and introspection.With a baggage of thoughts dancing in my head I just sat down to check what I felt about the whole situation.
The answer I got was fear! Yes! I was overwhelmed with fear....! Fear of death , fear of the unknown , fear of future , fear of anticipation , fear of loss , fear of the unexpected...
I was imagining the worst , I was trying to live in the future "ifs". I had just forgotten the beauty of the present ... and the moment I realized this, prayer arose ! I could send prayers to not just my near and dear ... the spectrum of it embraced humanity as a whole !
Along with all the precautions we are taking to control the spread of this pandemic , the aura of our deep consciousness should expand ....!!! Prayer heals ....