Mother to a Friend...

Kids will be at home for nine days now ! How to keep them occupied ...? How to channelize their energy in the right direction so that they do not end up glued to the idiot box and by the end of the day are drained of all their positive thinking faculties?...

The only way was to transform myself- keep aside the role of a mother ... be a child again ...and that was exactly what I did this Navaratri vacation and I can see a lost spark brighten up my eyes and a youthful bounce adorning my gait!

Once I decided to celebrate this vacation,I rang up my friend M, who is my working companion and co founder of our Art Academy. Decision of conducting a workshop for kids was taken in unison and the remaining few days were set apart in planning our fun days. We got a few calls from parents who were willing to send their kids home ..
Having a couple of kids at home would surely increase the fun quotient and excitement.

We started getting more enquiries about our workshop and excitement and responsibilities also grew.. By the time we started our workshop, our crew members had increased from a handful to a good 21.

Time just flew and we started enjoying every minute of our workshop. We started our days with prayers and helped kids work in buddy groups consisting of different age groups. Everyday was filled with dance, games and activities which ranged from crafts to cooking.

It was a joy to see them enjoy, to see the spark in their eyes which was so contagious.
Have you ever felt so full inside your heart that you don't need a reason to smile?
Have you ever felt so light inside your being that you are not embarrassed to jump up in joy ....

That was our state those few days ....



Today as I was waiting for my kids from school, two boys came zooming in their bicycles.. shouting "aunty .aunty ...".. with sparks in their eyes and smile on their faces...They were two members of our workshop...
It was great to just be their friend and listen to their unending chatter....
may be I should stop being a mother and just be a friend.......

to see more of our workshop click 2009-09-29">here.

During our times ..........!!

"During our times....it was much different ...!"
Hey! Do I sound like an old grandma? But, I am not ... and I am already using the above quote more than often. The other day I heard myself uttering these to a group of women in our apartment who were seriously discussing about the way they groom their kids .... and these words do slip out my mouth around our dining table once as we were reminiscing our childhood days ...

Have I already stepped into the next generation so soon? Or has the time lapsed so soon?

School admissions were never a hot topic of discussion among our parents when we were young. We were admitted into a school close to home. And we just grew along with the flow .... today parenting has taken a different turn altogether. After hunting for a suitable school for my kids for a whole year in a metro city, I could see changes in me ....My thoughts always hovered around schools, admissions and our kids future.. I joined many online groups which discussed schools and I was lured into more and more confusion. My spare time was set apart to visit schools ...When some schools were ready to take in my kids, the fees was too exorbitant: some schools were so crowded that each class room was packed with around 45 kids and each grade had divisions from A to I ... (a good way for the pre schoolers to learn their alphabets!). Many schools just did not respond: many schools had vacancies but were only moved by the sight of US dollars ....

Queue during admissions outside a school

My elder one was admitted to an "international" school last year ... as it was the only school willing to take him in when we returned from US midway during the school term - we thought of trying our luck next year in a better and "normal" school . I had a narrow escape from a severe heart attack when I visited his school for paying the term fees, two months ago. After paying the term fees the person on the counter requested me politely:
"Madam, this year you will have to pay extra for the school essentials..."
She handed over a slip to me which gave details of 2nd standard school essentials .. which included books, pencils,scale,erasers,crayons and a few work sheets for the year...
At the end of the slip was a figure which I tried to decipher.... My heart missed a beat and I leaned on to the counter ....
"Please pay the amount at the cash counter before collecting his books ..." I heard her say ....

I slowly walked towards the cash counter and enquired... "are all the parents OK with this school essential fee ...?"

The lady at the counter just stared back at me as if I was from some other planet ....

[Can any of you guess how much I payed for "school essentials" alone for a 2nd grade child?]

My helplessness, shock and prayers were all answered a week later when I got a call from another school - my kids got through the evaluation tests and were enrolled for vacancies in 2nd grade and Lower KG respectively. It was so sudden and no less than a miracle .. I feel relieved and relaxed now after a whole year of anxiety ....

When I heard my friend's story of her kid's school admission, I knew that it was a blessing indeed to get admissions for both into a normal reputed school in the middle of the year.
My friend, "B" was 4 months pregnant when she was dragged into a "reputed" school by a relative for booking a seat 3 years in advance. She told me that she felt so stupid to be sitting in front of the school officials and asking for a school admission for a child who was not yet born. The school officials jotted down her due date and calculated the year of admission and after much thought said, "Sorry ! your child is wait listed!... we will let you know if a vacancy arises !"
She did not feel stupid any more.... After three years .. the school expanded adding two more sections to their primary wing and thus her son got admission into the school!!.

"During our times ........it was much different.....!!!!!

"Travel Impressions" blog merged

My first blog was titled "travel Impressions" - http://travelimpressions.blogspot.com/. Always wanted to merge that one with this blog and at long last have done so. All "travel impressions" posts are also available in "My Online Sojourn" now.

Prayer heals!

I look at my hands and I can hear them begging to me..." stop it please... do not abuse us so much"... I open my vaseline jelly and apply it on my palms to make them feel better .
Earlier my hands used to smell of masalas, spices or incense, but for the past one week they are smelling only of dettol.
This is not the story of just my palms ....
My home smells of dettol and lizol ; I have already exhausted this month's usual quota of all disinfectant floor cleaners, toilet cleaners and even hand washes.I have stacked up my cupboard with enough of medical soaps. Our medicine cabinets have been updated with surgical spirits and many homeo medicines.My kids smell of dettol or eucalyptus oil.I even gave off a bottle of Lizol to the maid who comes to sweep the corridors of our apartment complex . I have agreed to sponsor dettol hand wash to my kids school.

Do not mistake this for a marketing portal for disinfectants .... what then?

Yes , you guessed it right ! Something is terribly wrong with me! When I am trying to make hand washing our home culture I just feel like Lady Macbeth trying to wash away the imaginary blood from her hands always in a state of hallucination. When I am always in the look out for a sneeze or running nose from my two little boys I feel insane.I used to take things so lightly . Never have I rushed my kids to doctors for a small rise in temperature , a cough or cold. But today my heart beats faster each time I think of my kids away from me in school...... ... are they washing their hands... with soap? Are they digging their noses , or biting their nails ?

I am after all a mother ....!!!

The scare of the pandemic H1N1 virus spreading like wild fire globally, the heat of its virulent flames burning life's of people close to our residence....just sprouted fear is many of us ...A month or so ago , I remember reading about this viral infection called swine flu affecting life's of people in Pune... but then I read it like any other news and never thought twice about it ....Today I feel ashamed !!!
Why am I feeling connected when it comes only to people close to me? Last few days were also days of reflection and introspection.With a baggage of thoughts dancing in my head I just sat down to check what I felt about the whole situation.

The answer I got was fear! Yes! I was overwhelmed with fear....! Fear of death , fear of the unknown , fear of future , fear of anticipation , fear of loss , fear of the unexpected...
I was imagining the worst , I was trying to live in the future "ifs". I had just forgotten the beauty of the present ... and the moment I realized this, prayer arose ! I could send prayers to not just my near and dear ... the spectrum of it embraced humanity as a whole !

Along with all the precautions we are taking to control the spread of this pandemic , the aura of our deep consciousness should expand ....!!! Prayer heals ....

An on the road saga - part 6: after a hiatus!

Many a times I had an intense urge to continue blogging and I would even make up my mind and sit in front of my lap top. The long break I took, was posing a starting trouble and every time, I would just procrastinate and distance blogging to the further most priorities. I got a couple of mails from some of my readers, motivating me to continue writing and my dear husband PP would be always after me to start pursuing my hobby (a good relief from my nagging!)...
But most importantly, all these months I missed out on a lot ... the bond I shared with my virtual friends ....! The joy of having friends who closely follow your blog was felt most when a month back I bumped onto one such very dear blog pal in a newly opened restaurant. I still treasure the moment when we both recognized each other ... two individuals who became friends through the blog sphere!......Both of us couldn't hide our joy on this unexpected encounter...and that did convince me to restart my blogs.

Before I write on anything new, I have to quickly wind up a series I started long back "An on the road Saga"............

"This is just ridiculous... how can you drive without a state license?...
Meet me at the police station before 4 in the evening with the state license", saying this he just marched away...

I tried to keep a brave face when the officer in front of me spoke these words ....Holding back my tears I dailed my husband's number with my fumbling fingers...The sighs on the other end of the phone made me more pale .....After dropping my son to school I went directly to the Secreatary of State office to give my written test. But I was rejected even the chance of attempting the test on the pretext that my husband's name in the passport did not match with the name in our marriage certificate.The expanding of the initials in front of his name .. the name had become too long that it did not fill in the visa page in the passport ....that they just ignored the end part of the name which was the real name in the marriage certificate.
confusing right?........
Sure to be remanded in jail in a foreign country ,with a heart full of prayer and helplessness I entered the police station, only to be greeted with a warm smile .....The officer was kind to me and understood the situation and asked me to speed up the process immediately before venturing on the roads.....The next few weeks was tough in getting the bank accounts and electricity and telephone bills in my name so that I could get a license without the fuss about the marriage certificate . After passing the initial written test ,I was waived off the 30 days wait to take the operator's license due to my Indian license. The day I got the Michigan license was a day of celebration for my family and friends ... I drove on the roads with an extra pride and confidence ,,, still the alarm in my head went on whenever I saw a police car in the vicinity.
This joy also did not last long .... A sudden news , of my husband's project coming to a closure and a sudden re location to India , selling off our road companions ,,,in no time we found our selves at home in Chennai.....I still , look at my Michigan State Operator's license... to make sure that all the tensions I went through was not a dream.
In India my on the road saga continues ....we don't own a car yet .... but we travel as a family in our 2 two wheelers... its fun and thrilling for the kids too ...to fight over which scooter they would ride .... who is the first to reach the destination ......! Our Indian roads , which add much spice and adventure to the drives... our on the road saga continues.....................!!!

An on the road saga - Part 5!!

We sat anxiously outside the two different RTO offices to get our International driving permit sanctioned. Suddenly my cell phone rang... it was PP ..."success... I got mine done ! what about yours?" 'No",I replied...."Mr.RTO has still not arrived the scene.Looks like we will have to cancel tonight's train ticket." "OMG! I have an important meeting in office tomorrow... I can't spare any more leave.You come later with kids...."said PP. After two day long satyagraha outside the RTO and after filling the empty pockets of various administrative staff I got my much awaited IDP....

With the valuable IDP safely in my purse , we packed our bags once again to leave our land ... for a 3 year long stay in US. My first impression of US roads was admiration and awe.... then came anxiety ....who would not be anxious to see the cars zooming on the free ways ...each time a vehicle passed me I could feel a burner kindling in my tummy. "How can I drive on these roads...."

After much thought I was enlightened ... yes I understood that till now I was never driving....being still alive after driving on our Indian roads was not less than a miracle! After a few weeks in US, necessity forced me to sit behind the steering and drive our FORD Taurus... Yes ., I enjoyed those moments when I drove the car in the early morning to give dance lessons to a group of Indian kids. We started feeling the necessity of having a second vehicle and leased a Chrysler town and country...From then on that became my on the road companion.... I was transformed into a full time chauffeur ... driving the kids to and from school, shopping , trips to library , to my dance classes....

My IDP was expiring in a few weeks .. when a new rule came up by the SOS that only green card holders were issued a drivers permit. I was in a dilemma .... Still with the confidence that very thing will fall into place , I continued with my road trips ....

One day as I was on my way to dropping my kindergartner to school ... one police vehicle suddenly came opposite our vehicle... before I knew, the police car took a U turn and with the lights and the siren blaring started following me.

I remembered what PP told me what to do when a police car follows you, with the lights and siren on,... just take your vehicle to the side and park it safely and wait for the officer to come .. I did exactly that .. trying not to panic ...my toddler started screaming on top of his voice.... "amma .... amma ... police .... ammma ...." I could see the fear in the eyes of my kindergartner, even when he tried to calm down his brother.... Those few minutes of waiting seemed to be like hours...and finally the officer came beside my the driver's window and asked ... " license please" .
.......to be continued.....

An on the road saga ! 4

After a fun filled and adventurous year in Japan, we landed in Taiwan. The on the road adventures here were limited to profuse use of expression and hand gestures to the locals and the taxi drivers in an attempt to make them understand our destination . Even the famous "TESCO" shopping mall had to be translated to "to-hi -ko" with right voice modulation and intonation : which used to be rehearsed again and again ....After staying in Taiwan for a year, we landed in one of the most picturesque and serene places I have stayed... South Africa.

Our stay in South Africa was fun and full of life. We stayed in a huge bungalow overlooking a nature reserve . A well maintained garden with bird baths, lush green trees and fragrant flowers would invite the huge birds, Hadidas, to land in our compound. The outside atmosphere was perfect for a walk ... and we would put on our walking shoes and venture into the lap of nature.... I would always wonder how and why people preferred to either stay in doors or just zoom in their vehicles......for we would be the only ones enjoying our evening walks.....And were often stared at by those in their cars.

It was only later that I came to know that , it was not safe to walk on the roads .... or even drive with out carrying knifes or revolvers....the crime rates in South Africa, even in a "safe" Pretoria neighborhood like ours, was high. From then on we started practicing "awareness"..... Even when we had the privilege of driving a Mazda offered to us from Pp's office.....It was in South Africa that I really drove.... Each moves , each turn, each stop .... each change of gear was practised with utmost awareness.

I was the chauffeur of the family ... as Pp was yet to master the driving skills on the road. I took up yet another job ... of teaching my husband driving. He was a good student flourishing under the tutelage of an able and experienced Guru...The confidence level in him was rising with every class ... that he finally drove on the roads with out my promptings.....He explored the different roads in Pretoria with the help of maps ..... and one day while taking a confident turn with his eyes surveying the map ... he dashed on to a near by lamp post crashing our white Mazda .....

........to be continued