"ni" of my Sadhana!

Light diffuses into its myriad colors painting a spectrum....
each hue shining in its might
a rainbow.... a beholder's delight!!

the sight of a rare rainbow sprouts joy, wonder and excitement in almost all of us. Light casts itself into its various colors,with varying frequencies and wavelengths ...!!! each having its individual properties .. yet is only a part of the whole!

We too, in our day to day lives put on various roles...that of a mother , daughter , wife , employee , student and many more....and in the long run start identifying with our roles. We transform ourselves into these roles and just bury our true self, in this role playing.

At one point, I am the wife , never ever tired of nagging ...and then I am the mother, always expecting ... then I am a daughter always demanding .....In all this role playing, I have forgotten to shed the roles and just be me. In the previous posts relating to sadhana ... I had revealed a few facts about myself . Today, when I try to come up with yet another fact, I can just say that I am not just a daughter , wife , mother , dancer , student .....I am something more! I am not just the human, I am also the " being"....and it is that something which makes me whole! Like the VIBGYOR colors, which are beautiful expressions of the same white light ... the roles I play are only expressions of my Being! The Ni of my sadhana is that I am some thing more that I think I am ....the taste of which I have experienced .....only in glimpses ...or split seconds when I have shed my egos unknowingly, when I have forgotten to play my roles!

With this post I conclude my long tag! Thanks to my friend Bharathy, for tagging me ...and helping me launch a quest... I thoroughly enjoyed it! ( I am sure she will never ever dare to tag me in future :) )

"dha" of my Sadhana!

It is Diwali today! But it was different. I did not wake up to the sounds of the fireworks or the shouts of the kids outside. I did not receive any "Happy Diwali wishes " from neighbors who used to knock our door with their diwali sweets and sweeter smiles. Nor was I tempted to venture in to my kitchen to savor the freshly prepared diwali specials .

As I peeked outside through the blinds of my tightly shut window , I had to remind myself that it was diwali. Trees were already bare, it had cast off all the colorful leaves which had adorned it a week ago. Nature had decked herself in comforters and blankets of mist and cold, ready for hibernation. This ambiance lulled me into a dream state and I dream t of the excitement which used to go with deepavali, the festival of lights!

As kids, our day use to start with a nice and long oil bath. We used to be first bathed in oil, with genuine strokes of lavish massage. Applying oil on the face was the most difficult part! We as kids used to run in order to avoid the oil from glistening our tiny faces. But at last we had to give up and ended up making "bheebhalsa bhavas" on our faces like the Kathakali dancers.After the elaborate bath, we used to be dress up in new clothes and Amma would have already prepared the plate if diyas. The kids in the houses were taken aarthi, with home made diyas...Dusk would be welcomed with lights all over the house and yard! crackers and fireworks on the veranda would have surely invited divine grace.

Though I tried to charge our home with the spirit of the festival by running around the house to apply oil on my kids, I was overcome with nostalgia. As I stared out of the window, I saw something different! I felt I was not alone ...Nature clasped her hands with me in the celebration....it was raining snow.....as if to say enjoy this moment....here is shower of white and light from a higher realm for you ...just feel it ...kindle the spark in you!..I could feel Nature pulling me to an elevated state..lightening up each cell in my body.In front of me were my kids dancing ....it was the dance of joy ! I wondered at the simplicity and innocence of childhood.....how the sight of snow could inspire and gift us with moments of bliss.

I joined the rhythm of my toddlers...with each sway in my body I felt the waves of joy encompassing us.We were dancing with both body and being! After all each one of us are the "DANCE" of the macrocosmic consciousness....

Dha of my Sadhana is that I would like to call myself a passionate dancer! Dance to me is prayer, a communication , an enlightening experience. On this auspicious ocassion of Deepavali , I wish all of you a wonderful year ahead filled with light and love! May this Diwali enlighten our lifes helping us realize our true passions . " Happy diwali ! friends...

"Halloween"

"I am going to be a spider witch"....." I 'll be a mermaid"... I am a princess"..." I love being a butterfly".....each one was eager to share the details of their costumes for the Halloween. This was my first Halloween and I was amused at the excitement that filled the innocent faces of the kids who had gathered home for their regular dance sessions. I asked them " What is Halloween?" and the answer I got was , It was a day when we will get a lot of candies....and we get new costumes for our costume party!"

Then I got a note from my son's school regarding the Halloween party! They were supposed to go to school in a costume and take with them gifts or treats to share with their friends. So I went searching for the costume of his choice to the mall. The whole mall was filled with the spirit of Halloween. there were spooky corners which sold scary masks and costumes...,there were special offers for miniature chocolate bars and candies....on the shelf stood pumpkin shaped pails with different facial expressions ...!!!
"Amma , I don't want to wear any thing scary!" ......My son came up with his demand!....his eyes stuck on the red costume of a fire fighter and he was satisfied.


Still I did not get a satisfying answer regarding the roots of this festival which seemed to have gained a wide popularity , second only to the Christmas. The festival is now commercialized , and the real reason behind the festival seemed to be missing. I digged a few books and searched the internet and found out that this was originally a Celtic festival with its roots in Ireland.It is named after " All Hallows even " or Eve of All Hallows Day or All Saints Day.Romans who later invaded the Celts seem to have blended in their customs into this festival.It originally symbolized the end of summer and beginning of the dark period or winter.It was called "Samhain" by the Irish, who celebrated this day with bone fires and bambrack( a traditional fruit cake).It was also believed to be the time when other worldly creatures roamed the planet ! There fore who ever , left their homes disguised in costumes in order to be in sync with the outside atmosphere.They used to roam around with a lantern made from gourd(jack o lantern.... which represented the plight of jack the farmer whose spirit roams around, who is denied entry to heaven or hell due to a spell from the devil).gourd was later replaced by pumpkin, which is more abundantly found! The poor in Ireland used to knock at doors and beg, and in turn would pray for the souls of the bereaved. This has been transformed into "trick or treating" today, where children run from door to door in their costumes and are given treats !

The Roman Goddesses Pomona ( Goddess of fruits) is remembered by the custom of bobbing of apples. This is a game where apples and coins and thrown into water and is supposed to be picked up with out using the hands.

Though the festival is not celebrated in its olden significance, it is a great time of the year ...when each house hold welcomes you with the colors of autumn, signs of harvest, symbols of ghouls and ghosts and witches....the pagan festival is redefined to fit into today world... celebrated with a difference!